It was not until my son Adam’s sudden passing in 2014 that I truly understood resisting change. How was I going to be able to bear having a family Thanksgiving, let alone a family Christmas ever again without Adam these traditions were so engrained in me and so important that I never thought it would change, and that they would always be “picture perfect”. I remember stating to my family weeks after Adam passed that I did not know how I was to be able to ever have another holiday without him being present and that I wanted to just skip over them from now on.
Little did I know what a journey I was about to embark on just months into my grief. I always believed in heaven and the afterlife growing up. As an adult, I gained a greater understanding about heaven and the knowing that our loved ones will give us signs to let us know they are there. I knew and accepted that they could send a message through, songs, animals, feathers, and of course pennies from heaven for I had my own experiences after my parents passed. A few months into my journey through grief I learned of energy healing which led me on the path of learning the importance of how not to resist change, and to have faith, and trust that God will only give us what we can handle. As I learned to lessen the resistance and accept that I could not change the past nor control the future, I was able to look forward with a bit more ease.
As I did more doors began to appear for me to open. I could sense and see my life’s path in front of me as the grief began to lessen. Forgiving those involved in my son’s accident, and forgiving myself for any hurts I felt I had caused, or any hurts that others had caused me or my family…that was the key. This opened me up, and my heart began filling with gratitude and grace for what I had endured.
As I began to accept the change, I was able to see how I could do grief differently during the holidays. You see I began communicating with my son firstly through signs and synchronicites, and also with the help of spirit translators (mediumship). My granddaughter had already been hearing her father, my son, since his passing. I had to let go of how my holidays used to be, and create new ways to celebrate, new traditions to help enjoy the holidays with the knowing that my son was right there with us in spirit. My perception of that Norman Rockwell holiday meal has changed. What is normal, what is picture perfect anyways?
Our loved ones in spirit check in on us all the time, in fact we are never alone, and they want us to recall happy memories and silly stories. I encourage you all to do grief differently during the holidays by thinking about your loved ones and reminisicining and writing letters to them, by making their special dish, putting photos out of them. Anything that will uplift you. Remember we are emotional beings so be kind to yourself. Respect your feelings and take special care of what you put into your body. Light exercise, plenty of water and getting out in nature as much as possible will help keep your body in balance. Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you. Honor your feelings and feel free to be able to express them verbally or by journaling them. Try to stay more present in your thoughts. Write out a mantra or an affirmation to help you to be more present. I modified the Reiki Principles as my go to mantra.
~Just for this hour I will not worry.
~Just for this hour I will not anger.
~Just for this hour I will be grateful.
~Just for this hour I will show kindness to all.
Please know that their is no right or wrong way to do grief but there is certainly a freer, more peaceful way.
Blessings to you all this holiday season…..
Editor’s note: Sara is available for readings and coaching sessions.
Her website is: https://www.sarakujawa.com/