Tag: the holidays

DOING GRIEF DIFFERENTLY

On By thinkcarebelieveIn Healing & Empowerment, Thought ProvokingLeave a comment

This is a post written by my  friend Sara Kujawa about experiencing the holidays after a loved one has crossed over.  I try to post it every year around this time.  No matter our circumstances, we can always choose to do grief differently.

NORMANROCKWELLIt was not until my son Adam’s sudden passing in 2014 that I truly understood resisting change. How was I going to be able to bear having a family Thanksgiving, let alone a family Christmas ever again without Adam these traditions were so engrained in me and so important that I never thought it would change, and that they would always be “picture perfect”. I remember stating to my family weeks after Adam passed that I did not know how I was to be able to ever have another holiday without him being present and that I wanted to just skip over them from now on.

Little did I know what a journey I was about to embark on just months into my grief. I always believed in heaven and the afterlife growing up. As an adult, I gained a greater understanding about heaven and the knowing that our loved ones will give us signs to let us know they are there. I knew and accepted that they could send a message through, songs, animals, feathers, and of course pennies from heaven for I had my own experiences after my parents passed. A few months into my journey through grief I learned of energy healing which led me on the path of learning the importance of how not to resist change, and to have faith, and trust that God will only give us what we can handle. As I learned to lessen the resistance and accept that I could not change the past nor control the future, I was able to look forward with a bit more ease.

As I did more doors began to appear for me to open. I could sense and see my life’s path in front of me as the grief began to lessen. Forgiving those involved in my son’s accident, and forgiving myself for any hurts I felt I had caused, or any hurts that others had caused me or my family…that was the key. This opened me up, and my heart began filling with gratitude and grace for what I had endured.

As I began to accept the change, I was able to see how I could do grief differently during the holidays. You see I began communicating with my son firstly through signs and synchronicites, and also with the help of spirit translators (mediumship). My granddaughter had already been hearing her father, my son, since his passing. I had to let go of how my holidays used to be, and create new ways to celebrate, new traditions to help enjoy the holidays with the knowing that my son was right there with us in spirit. My perception of that Norman Rockwell holiday meal has changed. What is normal, what is picture perfect anyways?

Our loved ones in spirit check in on us all the time, in fact we are never alone, and they want us to recall happy memories and silly stories. I encourage you all to do grief differently during the holidays by thinking about your loved ones and reminiscing and writing letters to them, by making their special dish, putting photos out of them. Anything that will uplift you. Remember we are emotional beings so be kind to yourself. Respect your feelings and take special care of what you put into your body. Light exercise, plenty of water and getting out in nature as much as possible will help keep your body in balance. Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you. Honor your feelings and feel free to be able to express them verbally or by journaling them. Try to stay more present in your thoughts. Write out a mantra or an affirmation to help you to be more present. I modified the Reiki Principles as my go to mantra.

~Just for this hour I will not worry.

~Just for this hour I will not anger.

~Just for this hour I will be grateful.

~Just for this hour I will show kindness to all.

Please know that their is no right or wrong way to do grief but there is certainly a freer, more peaceful way.

Blessings to you all this holiday season…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Editor’s note:  Sara is available for readings and coaching sessions.

Her website is:  https://www.sarakujawa.com/

Using Problems to Rise Above

On By thinkcarebelieveIn Inspirational, Thought ProvokingLeave a comment

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The problems in our lives.  We would prefer they not show up in our lives right now.  We would prefer to have a happy day without something happening that makes us feel a little bit of dread and intrudes on our smooth, happy workflow and our joy.  Those big or little problems that keep popping up and just won’t go away.

If we are willing to be totally honest and ask ourselves what thing or things pop up and disrupt our flow of passion, what things linger in the background of our heads that disturb our joy?  Without victim shaming or invalidating anyone’s experiences, I propose that we loosen our grip on the reasons these problems are foremost in our minds or hover in the backs of them as we try to go about our day, just for the purpose of looking at it in a way we may not have considered.  By using our conscious mind to redefine these things, we may just be able to effect the kind of change that always seemed elusive.

We’ve all been hearing that we should try to stay in the present moment.  The now is where our power lies to choose the path with which we will resonate.  That thing we don’t like may have shown up at this moment in our lives for the purpose of giving us clarity on what we don’t want in our lives.  Seeing an example right in front of our faces, illuminated through contrast, helps us clearly determine what we do prefer.

By reframing those things as examples of what we do not prefer in our lives, instead of sticky problems needing a solution, constructively changes the energy of it to be that of a simple tool.  Converting the illusion of “this menacing thing” hanging over our heads or taking up space in the backs of our minds into helpful tools is something we are allowed to do, and opens the door to allow things we do prefer into our lives.  We get a beneficial effect from this thing by using it to be more clear about what we do prefer in our lives.

If we announce something like, “Okay, this thing has shown up in my life just so that I can clearly decide what it is that I do prefer, so I can declare it, and bring more of what I do prefer into my life.” By staying in this state instead of fear, anxiety, confusion or anger, we only get a beneficial experience from it.  Since we cannot perceive or experience what we are not in the vibration of, we actually shift our vibration to what we prefer, so that we can experience more of what we do prefer.

If we are drawn to conflict, being curious and fascinated by it, we will draw more of it to our life.  If we carry a feeling of love, by focusing on doing things that we feel passionate about and bring us joy, then we bring more love into our lives.  We can treat things that we don’t like in a way that we can use them in a way that we do prefer, instead of trying to run from them, in order to get the beneficial effect from them.

We can also lighten up on ourselves.  Beliefs keep better things away, so we can attract new things that are more relevant for us naturally, if we loosen our beliefs and judgments.  When we lighten up, our vibration rises.  Experiencing more joy in our lives happens naturally as our vibration rises.  As our conscious vibration rises high enough, we can look back at that thing and it will actually appear non-sensical or illogical to us.  A clear indicator that we have used that tool well.  That thing that used to be a thing in our lives, now looks a bit silly.

We are fundamentally worthy of good things simply because we exist.  It is up to us to decide how we define those things that happen to us in our lives.  The saying, “God doesn’t always give us what we want, but rather what we need” comes to mind.  On the surface, those things may look different than we expected.  We have to stop judging them and understand they are there for a reason, as simple tools, so we can use them that way.

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Putting Our Heart In It

On By thinkcarebelieveIn InspirationalLeave a comment

We’re getting the table ready.  Thanksgiving is coming.  Everything is arranged in a special way, to mark the special nature of the occasion.  The table is where we gather to connect and reconnect with one another.   To share memories and traditions, to laugh and discuss, to take the food into our bodies and nourish our souls.  Yes, even when the conversation gets lively, that can be fun too.

The cooks are now executing carefully planned creations.  They are visualizing the steps in their dreams.  Keeping the balance and the beauty just so.  Frantic, yet energized.  A little touch here and there.  Ideas that come from the heart to the brain, and then out the hands, through the fingers, while the legs move them from place to place.  All this has an energy flow to it.  The preparatory setting of the stage.

Smells…  Turkey, sage, spiced pumpkin, tart cranberries, yeasty rolls, syrupy yams.  Such a symphony of odors no orchestra could ignore.  Candles burning.  Fire crackling.  Cider and cinnamon simmering slowly waiting for the scoop.

Sounds of laughter, cheering, football, glasses clinking.  Plates being stacked, water in the sink, conversation murmuring.  Questions, answers, children screaming.  Dogs barking, doors opening and shutting.

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Let every little delicious detail of your holiday experience be an enjoyable taste of being alive.  In each moment, allow your mind to savor the flow of life.

Allow anything annoying to just be.  It doesn’t have to be yours, you don’t have to take it in.

No matter how big or small we spend our day of thanks.  All we really need to do is be Love.

DOING GRIEF DIFFERENTLY

On By sara kujawaIn Healing & Empowerment, Thought Provoking3 Comments

 

NORMANROCKWELLIt was not until my son Adam’s sudden passing in 2014 that I truly understood resisting change. How was I going to be able to bear having a family Thanksgiving, let alone a family Christmas ever again without Adam these traditions were so engrained in me and so important that I never thought it would change, and that they would always be “picture perfect”. I remember stating to my family weeks after Adam passed that I did not know how I was to be able to ever have another holiday without him being present and that I wanted to just skip over them from now on.

Little did I know what a journey I was about to embark on just months into my grief. I always believed in heaven and the afterlife growing up. As an adult, I gained a greater understanding about heaven and the knowing that our loved ones will give us signs to let us know they are there. I knew and accepted that they could send a message through, songs, animals, feathers, and of course pennies from heaven for I had my own experiences after my parents passed. A few months into my journey through grief I learned of energy healing which led me on the path of learning the importance of how not to resist change, and to have faith, and trust that God will only give us what we can handle. As I learned to lessen the resistance and accept that I could not change the past nor control the future, I was able to look forward with a bit more ease.

As I did more doors began to appear for me to open. I could sense and see my life’s path in front of me as the grief began to lessen. Forgiving those involved in my son’s accident, and forgiving myself for any hurts I felt I had caused, or any hurts that others had caused me or my family…that was the key. This opened me up, and my heart began filling with gratitude and grace for what I had endured.

As I began to accept the change, I was able to see how I could do grief differently during the holidays. You see I began communicating with my son firstly through signs and synchronicites, and also with the help of spirit translators (mediumship). My granddaughter had already been hearing her father, my son, since his passing. I had to let go of how my holidays used to be, and create new ways to celebrate, new traditions to help enjoy the holidays with the knowing that my son was right there with us in spirit. My perception of that Norman Rockwell holiday meal has changed. What is normal, what is picture perfect anyways?

Our loved ones in spirit check in on us all the time, in fact we are never alone, and they want us to recall happy memories and silly stories. I encourage you all to do grief differently during the holidays by thinking about your loved ones and reminisicining and writing letters to them, by making their special dish, putting photos out of them. Anything that will uplift you. Remember we are emotional beings so be kind to yourself. Respect your feelings and take special care of what you put into your body. Light exercise, plenty of water and getting out in nature as much as possible will help keep your body in balance. Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you. Honor your feelings and feel free to be able to express them verbally or by journaling them. Try to stay more present in your thoughts. Write out a mantra or an affirmation to help you to be more present. I modified the Reiki Principles as my go to mantra.

~Just for this hour I will not worry.

~Just for this hour I will not anger.

~Just for this hour I will be grateful.

~Just for this hour I will show kindness to all.

Please know that their is no right or wrong way to do grief but there is certainly a freer, more peaceful way.

Blessings to you all this holiday season…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Editor’s note:  Sara is available for readings and coaching sessions.

Her website is:  https://www.sarakujawa.com/