We’ve all been there… having a seemingly innocent interaction, and suddenly someone flares at something or someone, leaving those around scratching their heads. If we could bread down what is happening, we could then understand what is really going on, in order to not be adversely affected, and to help that person heal.
When someone has pain so deeply buried, that they are not even aware it is there, something in the present may spark a subconscious remembrance to that pain and immediately frustration musters and defenses rise. They may not know why. The ego may or may not be involved to fuel the fire. The reaction could be to built up conflict within themselves and may have nothing to do with the present situation at all.
Behind the scenes, deep within that human, is a wounded child with energetic tendrils attached to their own painful experience that has come to the surface in that moment. They may be physically in the present moment but with them is every unresolved conflict from their past. They may be looking at you, but they may be seeing someone or something else that has hurt them deeply. If they are unable to become aware of what is going on, they may need help. Those energetic cords from the painful experience that are escalating their reaction need to be cut, so the past can be cleared, and they can be fully present and able to move forward.
In various posts, I’ve been discussing many ways we can clear our own “baggage.” But that is when we are aware of our stuff, and willing and able to do the work. What do we do when someone is standing in front of us, is visibly volatile, and unable or unwilling to admit that the reason they are seething is because of what is going on inside of them?
A couple things…
- If that person is unable to quiet and listen to reason, then we need to realize that at some point in their lives, most probably when young, their tendency toward kindness and caring was forced out of them. Perhaps they were forced into survival mode by a parent under threat of punishment. Perhaps they were bullied and were forced to survive. We can think of any number of abusive circumstances where warmth and compassion were relinquished to aggression in the name of survival. They may be hardened to even care how their behavior affects others, perhaps because if they let themselves see it, a dam would burst and they would be overcome with pain and guilt. Maybe they have been holding up that dam for so long that the fear of it breaking and the flood of emotion engulfing them is enough to avoid seeing the truth of how they are overreacting. Biochemical and neurological imbalances can be influencing their emotions. One thing that silently screams truth is that they are in trouble.
- When we speak to them, we need to be in a place of centered calm. If we are feeling one bit defensive, then we need to cut our own cords, and clear the experiences from our past that make us feel anything but love and compassion, so we can be a true voice of healing. If we can speak in a way that reminds them to respect other people’s boundaries, we can also remind them to respect another’s humanity, we may get a foot in the door. Speaking harshly or with anger will not get through. It will only remind them of the abusive system that created their pain. If we quietly show them the unnecessary sharpness or violence of their behavior, without our own anger amplifying their reaction, we may be able to get through, and create an “aha moment” for them. If we confront them with anger, it only reinforces their belief that they need to see the world as unsafe, and further perpetuates their belief that they must fight to stay alive in order to save the little part of themselves that they have left.
If that person is a coworker, friend or family member and we have to be in close proximity to them, we may ask for help from their Higher Self, Guides and Angels to help them cut the cords to their painful experiences so that they can find their stability. We can ask for them to be surrounded with light to aid their clarity and allow them to step out of their pain to claim their personal sovereignty. This only aids the energetic vibration of the whole, as we all proceed with our own personal ascension. It may allow them to heal enough so that they may help others to heal also, from their own personal experience.