Being Veterans Day, this is a follow-up to my last two posts about Veteran PTSD.  These are some helpful tips and suggestions for families and caregivers of Veterans with PTSD.  I just want to say, this is coming from my experience as a Mom and a Reiki Master energy healer… and if you are a family member or caregiver of a veteran with PTSD, I send your family my love.  Hope this helps.

• If they don’t have a dog, then consider getting one. Dogs become the buddies that never let them down.  Dogs work with us, lowering stress and blood pressure and at the same time raise our vibrations because they are pure unconditional love.  Caring about something outside ourselves gets us out of our mental box, and that is good.
• Don’t escalate any emotionally charged situation. Take a break.  Wait 24-48 hrs before discussing it.  Stay calm.  Go on as normal, do chores, cook dinners, include them.
• Let them get their emotions out in a safe way. Say “I hear you.”  You don’t have to comment.  Last thing they need is to feel shameful for how they feel.  Just hear them and try not to judge.
• If something happens, go on as normal, even if you don’t understand right away. The important thing is not to get stuck and keep energy moving in the environment.
• Use sage to clear the energy in the house. A little fresh air and sunlight every day for the veteran is very helpful.  Play soft music in the house.  Be calm.
• Bad days happen. It is just one day in a whole life of days.  A new moment will come.  A new day will come.
• Loud noises can affect veterans. The VA posts signs prohibiting balloons.  When they pop they sound like a gunshot.
• During an episode, most likely nobody knows what is happening. Most veterans don’t realize they are having an episode until they’re in trouble.  Often caregivers don’t realize there’s been a trigger and the veteran is on their way to an episode.  If you can, just try to make them aware of their body and behavior.  For example, let them know their breathing is erratic, or they haven’t been sleeping or eating, in a calm and non-judgmental tone.
• The veteran may want to keep their thoughts and emotions private. Don’t press.  Let them know that you are there when and if they need to talk.
• If they talk about what happened, or about what they are feeling, don’t judge. Stay calm and detached.  You are there to listen so they don’t have to be alone facing or processing their emotions.
• Just be love. It is our real, true nature.  Everything else is a temporary experience.  It is there to show us what love is not, so we can recognize and thoroughly know what love is.
• Some behavior can seem outrageous. So much so that we can forget it is PTSD.  We have to not judge and respect their right to get it out.
• Remember this is their healing and their experience. It is between them and God.  We are there so they don’t have to be alone and to remind them they are loved.
• Remember, they are just trying to get through the day. Let them know you are glad they are there, and let them know it is okay to just be.
• Remember, above all else, they need to feel safe.
• During family functions and holidays, just allow them to be part of the family and interact as they feel comfortable. Try to remove any expectations of how things will go.  Any kind of pressure to meet expectations that they will be like they used to be makes them feel terrible, like they are broken and disappointing others.  We as family members need to accept them as they are now, this moment and every moment… and let them know they are loved no matter what.